Back to the Motherland..

     I’ve been back in my home country for a whole week now, so I guess it’s definitely time for an update. In case you aren’t friends with me on Facebook… I graduated! Haha whew! :) Graduation was a lot of fun leading up to a lot of tears. While most people left on Friday (We did three trips to the train station! 4am, 10am and 1pm), Andreya and I hung around til Saturday morning. Side note to future students… you get extra love and attention from the staff when you are the last few students! Haha ;) We got an incredible stuffed french toast breakfast, went and explored a town about an hour away with a castle, then enjoyed a lovely dinner! Saturday Andreya and I got on a bus and went into Prague for the weekend! Monday morning we got up bright and early to go to the airport. My day started at 4am, which is 10pm Florida time (I actually posted that wrong on Facebook… 5am was when we left for the airport!).  It was probably the toughest goodbye I’ve ever had to say. Andreya and I had become extremely close in the past 6 months. When I came to DTS I had never imagined finding such a friend with whom I would be able to be so open and honest with. We laughed and cried together on so many occasions, and I know that neither of us will forget the wonderful memories of our time in Europe together and how God worked in and through us in those six months.

At 8am I boarded my flight and started the long journey home. I can only describe my feeling as numb shock. Of course I was so very excited to see my friends and family back home, but I was in complete shock that it was actually going to happen. That the 6 months had already flown by, and it was time to begin “re-entry” in the States. So after about 14 hours of traveling, I landed in the Sunshine State and was greeted by my parents, my grandma, my brother and his girlfriend, and one of my best friends and her husband. We went out for a delicious dinner at P.F. Changs, and the whole time I was thinking “Someone pinch me! Did I actually leave this place 6 months ago? Am I really home?” It was crazy.

     So onto the topic of re-entry and what that has been like! Since some of you are totally confused by the culture shock that I have been experiencing, hopefully this will give you a better explanation of why. First of all, of course I am extremely happy to be home and see everyone, but the other side of that is that I am extremely sad to be separated from my team because they also became family to me. They were with me during some of the craziest and most incredible months of my life. We lived in close quarters and learned very quickly what made us laugh, cry and many other fun random things. Our teacher the few days before graduation said something like this… “When you came to DTS it was a huge adjustment! Suddenly you were sharing one room with 5 other girls and one bathroom for everyone, and that was a shock! But now think about what is normal to you. It is totally normal to wake up hearing each other, wait for someone to get out of the bathroom, and then squeeze into a little kitchen to have breakfast together, and then start your day… TOGETHER.” We lived and thrived in community. We were stretched, and we grew… together. So coming home can be a little lonely to say the least. There is a part of me that just wants to go back, but I know that won’t fix anything. Everyone will still be in their own homes all over the world. So here I am, trying my hardest to readjust as gracefully as possible.

     I will share my experience with Walmart, since that also confused many. Again with what became “normal” to me… little Czech grocery stores, Czech signs/advertisements, people speaking Czech (which I learned to completely zone out because why listen when you don’t understand anything), and occasionally Czech music. I learned to zone most of this out actually. So going to Walmart was a horrifying English overload. Suddenly I am distracted by people speaking around me and the fact that I can understand everything they are saying, English advertisements and signs, English music playing in the background, and all the new things that cover the shelves. Have you walked down the salad dressing aisle lately? Why do we have so many options? It’s insanity. Chip aisle… same problem! So to say the least I had a slight panic attack. I grabbed my 3 necessities and ran for the self-check out.

     Another thing we were taught our last week that I now completely understand is the need to pray for patience and a heart for my own country. After seeing what I saw in those six months, I now understand the frustration behind “1^st world problems” that people complain about so often. It has been difficult to come back to the land of abundance. I hear “I’m starving!” and all I can think of are the little street kids we played with that actually were starving most days. I struggled this week with my own abundance and have already filled up a huge bag of clothes that I will be donating because my own closet was too overwhelming when I got home.

     There have been several people who have been incredibly kind to make plans and spend time just asking about my time and listen to me ramble on and on. It has helped so much to have those people around that are interested in what happened during my time away, but also in being there to ask how I’m doing with being back home. I truly didn’t expect things to be so difficult so quickly. I thought that it would be at least two weeks before I felt like I was crashing, but that feeling came much sooner than expected. Those six months were amazing, and I know I grew in ways I never could have if I hadn’t gone. It was a spiritual high in my life, but the fall from that high back to reality has been a tough one.

Now onto the “big question” that almost everyone has asked: What’s next?!

    To be honest, I can’t really answer that the way most people are expecting. What’s next for me is just being home and waiting for what God has next for me. I have a list of possibilities, but I am waiting for confirmation on what is first. The one thing I do know is that I will be working with children. That was something made very clear to me in the past year. In the mean time, I am thoroughly enjoying spending time catching up with friends and family. I have also been enjoying the warm weather and the beautiful ocean! I must say being cold and landlocked for so long definitely gave me a new appreciation for the warmth and ocean. I do love Florida and all the wonderful people God has put in my life here. I am looking forward to reconnecting in the next few months and also using my free time to help out at my church which so graciously helped me go and so warmly welcomed me home. Of course, I will also have to start working again, which I will hopefully have figured out by the end of this month if not sooner.

    Lastly, I have been asked what is the biggest change I have seen in my own life in the past six months, which I think is a difficult but great question. There are a few things that I know really changed. First, how big God really is and how silly the tiny box I used to put Him in was. I got to see God move in ways I never had before. He provided for my team and I time and time again. I also learned and really began to understand the unconditional love He has for me. Another huge change I felt was the freedom I have. Macedonia forever changed how I view myself and my future. That week really helped me to overcome a lot of fears I had. If you had asked me last year if I would consider going to Macedonia by myself with two women I didn’t know to live in Roma villages and work with kids that don’t speak or understand English I would have thought you were insane. But God used that time to really teach me that with Him it is always an adventure, and that I can go anywhere because He will go before me and with me every step of the way.

Dan Baumann said our first week, “The safest place to be is exactly where God wants you.” This came from a man who spent a little over two months in an Iranian prison, and his love for Jesus is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. People joked with me in the beginning asking if I was ready to go to Iran, and the answer for a long time was “Heck no! Are you crazy?” But that reaction has slowly changed. The verse 1 John 4:18 came to life for me during outreach… “Perfect love casts out fear.” That whole chapter really spoke to me in the last 6 months. It is a beautiful reminder of His love for us, and why we love others. This is what I have to hold on to when the difficulty of re-entry hits me. This is what I will continue to hold on to no matter what life might throw my way. This is what gives me hope for my future.

On that note I will close, especially since I can see that I have typed over 1700 words… sorry. Anyways, to my team- I love and miss you all like crazy! To my wonderful friends and family here in Florida- thank you for your love and support, it means so much to me. I look forward to continuing to catch up with everyone and also hearing about what has been going on in your lives!

Love y’all!  :)

The final stretch...

It's been a couple weeks since I updated, so I will attempt to catch you up. Apologies, it's gonna be a long post...  :)

Our week after debrief was "student led" which means we were paired up and put in charge of the schedule for a day. My team went Friday, and I think it went pretty well if I do say so myself. Haha We focused on praying for Cheb and ways that we can be a blessing before leaving (giving away clothes or giving time/money/etc.). In the evening we did street ministry, and it was probably one of the most emotionally difficult nights for me. It's the "season" for street work, and that night we saw many newbies out. They were super young and all being closely guarded by their "boyfriends" aka pimps. Many of them couldn't have been out of high school, yet here they are being sold on a street corner. It was so tough to see because you just want to talk to them, but they are so closely guarded that there was no way to even get close. So we would keep our distance and pray that God would rescue them, that someone would tell them that they are precious and not something to be sold on a street corner. It happened three times that night that we saw young girls, all guarded. I know what they will look like in a few years, and I pray that they get out before they hit that point. The bruised faces, glassy eyes and underfed bodies are heartbreaking. We had a small break through that night though right before going home. We stopped to speak to a woman that one woman on our team, a local, had spoken to many times before. Both of her eyes were bruised, but her face lit up when she saw us. She knew we had a gift for her. So Jana and I talked with her for a little and for the first time ever she let Jana pray for her and after every sentence Jana prayed, she agreed. She also took the card with the help number. Now we have to pray and wait. Every rough night is worth the beautiful moments, glimpses of hope. 

On a lighter note, last weekend was a lot of fun and we enjoyed a visit from 2 Prague friends! Saturdays plans slightly fell apart, but our awesome leader Ira decided to take Andreya and I on a little adventure! We even were loaned a car for a day from a local pastor! It was such a great day. We went and visited a castle! Then had drinks out on the lawn. It was beautiful and so relaxing. Then we headed back to town where we stopped in some shops and did a little graduation shopping! I didn't know that people had brought special dresses for graduation that they had saved through the last 6 months, and since most of my clothes are looking a little shabby these days, I treated myself. Luckily I found a really nice dress for just $17, which in my books is a great deal! So now I've tucked it away, only to be revealed for graduation. I'm quite excited :)

This week has been our "Tour" week, which means we've been traveling around to different church's and sharing testimonies and stories from DTS . Monday through Wednesday was a little rough because we were changing location every morning, but all the churches we went to in that time were awesome. Thursday we got a much needed day off, and while most of our team decided to climb 6 miles uphill, I decided I didn't need another Lukomir day.  ;)  So Andreya, Karoline, and I walked down to the pool and enjoyed a super relaxing afternoon! Also, there was a cool slide and a big whirlpool.... SO. MUCH. FUN. I had never been in a whirlpool before, so that was awesome.

Friday we arrived in our final stop along our tour, and I think that night was the best. We were speaking to a Christian run youth program, but most of the youth who attended were not believers. So we all sat on the floor, drank tea, and shared our stories. Funny side story, Oksana (who is from Ukraine and speaks Ukrainian, Russian and English) was asked if she would speak and her response was  jokingly "Only if it can be translated from Russian." Well you say things like that and God shows His sense of humor... Sure enough the pastor speaks fluent Russian (something that none of us knew before arrival) and was more than happy to translate Russian to Czech. Next up was Andreya, and her testimony that makes me want to cry every time. She also got to share a story of Gods humor, which I will share as well. A year ago she was working in South Korea teaching English, and one night her and a friend were in some back alley cafe chatting about their future. She had very little hope and had been through a lot in the past years. Her friend asked, where do you want to be in a year, and her response was I don't know... Europe. There was a large European looking picture on the wall behind her. She said though that she never though it would actually happen though. But that night her friend took a picture of her sitting in front of that picture and posted it on Facebook. A week ago one of our leaders commented on that picture and said, "Oh this is our favorite town in the Czech kingdom!" Turns out the picture behind her was of a beautiful Czech town only a few hours from where we currently live. I think God was laughing when he saw her reaction that day, I sure know I was! Lastly, for the evening was Juan's testimony, which I can't even begin to explain other than its basically miracle after miracle. I loved hearing his again because I always feel so encouraged, and it renews my hope. I think the students we spoke to were also encouraged because they were wide eyed and listening intently. Afterwards it was great to just sit and continue chatting with them. 

Saturday we did street evangelism and then had a BBQ with another local church. It was really fun, we ended up doing some music and dancing (one of our students in an Israeli dance teacher), which was hilarious and so much fun. Sunday morning we spoke at the church service and prayed with people afterwards.  Then back on the train we went! It is a 7 hour trip from one side of the Czech Republic to the other! Karvina and Cheb are both border cities, and it's a straight line from Cheb through Prague to Karvina. 

It's so good to be back in Cheb. It's insanely surreal though that we are down to our very last week. Literally a week from now I will be on a plane home. I can't believe that. Here's what our week looks like... 

Monday: day off! Celebrating Karolines BDay poolside then picnic.

Tuesday: lecture > re-entry/ going home prep

Wednesday: lecture > re-entry/ going home prep

Thursday: GRADUATION

Friday: say goodbye to more than half of our group, day trip to Loket & Carlsbad 

Saturday: Andreya and I travel to Prague!

Sunday: Prague! See Niki off at the airport

Monday: awake by 4am, airport by 5:30am, flying by 8:30am... Home by 3pm. (The first 3 times are Europe time, the last is EST for the US... My body will be thinking its 9pm when I land. Hello jet lag!)

CRAZY.CRAZY.CRAZY.

The end of Outreach and the road towards home...

Well outreach has already come to an end, but I want to catch everyone up and tell you about our last week. Croatia was such a blessing to our team. I couldn't think of a better way to have ended outreach. It was a week of early mornings, exhausting but awesome moments with the kids, beautiful afternoons by the sea and great team bonding throughout the week. Everyone was just so happy with not only where we were but also what we were doing. The kids camp was so much fun! Seriously... Those kids. Haha they were awesome. As for my specific part.. I helped teach English, which was great! Towards the end of the week we found out that we came in quite a but under budget, so we got to do two really awesome things together. First we got to eat seafood... SEAFOOD! Seriously, it was the first in 5 months, and it was delicious. So yeah, we went out for a really nice dinner right on the water. It was beautiful and also a great night of just encouraging each other and laughing together. That night it really hit me how much I will miss my family here when I go home. We really are a family. Second, we got to go sailing! It was incredible! I've always thought it would be so cool to go on a sailboat, and it was.  It was an great way to end our outreach. 

Friday morning at camp ended all too quickly, and it was time to leave Croatia. Some awesome things happened that day, but first I will share a slightly funny moment. I was checking my bag in, and they rolled it away... Then the phone rang and my bag came back. I was told I had to go through a different security check in. So I nervously went to the other check in and asked the guy, "Excuse me, but why is my bag getting searched?" His answer... "You are carrying ammunition." WHAT. Haha, yeah well I bought some bullet key chains in Sarajevo, and apparently on the scan the bullet showed up but not the key chain portion. So I dug them out of my bag, showed him, he laughed, I laughed, and he sent me on my way. 

Next came our luggage miracle. We had been told anything over 15 kilos would be charged a 30€ overage fee, which none of us wanted to pay. All but two of us were good on weight, the other two put their heaviest stuff in one bag so that only one would get the charge. Well that morning after we were all packed up, we had prayed that we would get through the airport without any problems or extra charges. So up went the heavy bag, and it weighed in at 23 kilos (which was also the max before having to pay a second overweight fee). In that moment we were all praying, please God just let it go through! And that is exactly what happened! It was awesome. 

Our next airport fun came in the form of Lahja walking for the first time! She had taken a few steps in the past months, but now she was really walking! All by herself. I turned around, and she was just walking away. It was such a precious and exciting moment. 

Then came a scary moment personally. I went to grab some last minute souvenirs, and when checking out discovered that my debit card was missing. The last time I remembered using it was the previous Friday in busy Split after withdrawing the last bit of outreach fees. I could've sworn that I put it directly back in my purse, but it wasn't there. I panicked because there would be no way for me to get more money out or to get a new card in time, plus I was scared that I had possibly dropped it which meant that I could also have lost all the money in my account. So after crying for a few moments, Magdalena came and talked to me. She helped me to calm down and give it to God and to remember that He is bigger than any missing bank card. So we prayed that I would find it, and two days later after multiple searches, I found it. Thank you Jesus! 

So that Friday night, we arrived back in Cheb! It was so great to see our whole DTS back together. I was especially excited to see my dear South Africa. Haha Andreya and I were super close during lecture phase, so being apart for those two months was tough. It's so great to be back in Cheb, and I must add that this town is so much more beautiful in summer than it was in winter! It's so green and flowery! This week was our outreach debrief and presentation work. So far, it has been great. I'm thankful for debrief because it really helps us see what we did and what happened in those two months. I was talking to Anna while we were walking home the other night, and she was saying its so weird because it feels like we are back in lecture phase and that outreach is just a dream, like it doesn't feel like we were really gone for two months. I couldn't agree more. It's such a strange feeling. 

I can't wrap my mind around the fact that we graduate in just 3 weeks, and then just a few days later, I fly home. It really is such a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to see everyone back home. I have missed y'all like crazy! But I'm also super sad to be leaving my YWAM family. There is also some nervousness over the adjustment of coming home. I've heard many people say that they were depressed after coming home from DTS because they had such a hard time adjusting, so I'm just praying that doesn't happen. I want to stay busy so that I don't dwell on the struggle of the adjustment. 

So to all my awesome friends and family back home... Plan it up! I'm so excited to see all of you and catch up on life! I fly home the afternoon of the 29th, so yeah. I will hopefully be able to send out a message that evening to meet whoever wants to come at Starbucks & Tutti Frutti! Until then, love y'all! See you in 25 days!

xo  :) 

Saying goodbye to Bosnia and hello to Croatia...

It's been a busy two weeks since I last updated, and we have also since changed location! The week before last was our retreat for the house churches, which we taught at. It was a great week!  I loved getting to see all the house churches come together to spend time like one big family. I taught my topic Tuesday morning and didn't feel very nervous, which was an exciting first! Haha the whole week was busy and tiring, but so much fun! We had a trampoline that we could go on with the kids and lots of beautiful places to walk. Speaking of the kids, Anna and I had them the majority of the week, which was fun but exhausting! It has been a challenge for me throughout the past month to deal with the language barrier, but at least with kids it's a little easier because they just want to play. Also, I think in that week I learned more Bosnian than the 6 weeks before! Hahah the kids were always trying to teach me new words while we were playing games. The week flew by quicker than I expected and before I knew it the retreat was over, and we were driving back into Sarajevo.

Our last weekend and half week in Sarajevo was wonderful, but sad. Saturday we finally made it to the pool, which was probably our most relaxing day off of our entire outreach. Haha I needed and really loved just laying out in the sun and swimming in the awesome pool. Plus it was great to spend the day with Larry and Jill just chatting and enjoying a peaceful afternoon. Sunday we made our last trip to the NATO base, which was also a little sad. We had a great time though. Monday morning we went to the Children's Center. We took some bags of groceries and a bag of balloons and went to say goodbye. It was tough to say goodbye to all those kids that we had so much fun playing with, and it was really tough to say goodbye to the women that worked there and love on those kids every day. Tuesday we went into the center and walked through the markets for the last time. We had lunch at our favorite place, ate our favorite meal, and then I went souvenir and gift shopping. Wednesday morning we did a deep clean of our lovely apartment and said a few more goodbyes before heading off to the bus station. 

Driving away from Sarajevo was surreal. It didn't feel like we were actually leaving. I remember the night we first arrived in Sarajevo. It was late and the lights of the city were beautiful, everything seemed to sparkle. I was so excited for outreach and what this city would teach me. Well two months later, we are driving away and sad to see it behind us. The time we spent was extremely challenging at times, but there were also wonderful moments that made every tough time worth it. We grew as individuals and as a team. We are a family. I've finally hit the point of dreading to say goodbye to these amazing people in just 5 short weeks. It will be weird to be home and not wake up to all of them sitting around the breakfast table waiting to start the day. I will stop there before I make myself cry. Haha

So we travelled to Mostar, BiH on Wednesday afternoon. The views traveling into the Herzegovina section of Bosnia were beautiful. We made it there in a little over two hours and when we arrived at the bus station were greeted by the hostel owners who were there to pick up our luggage so we didn't have to carry our massive backpacks in the heat to the hostels. It was so sweet and so appreciated. The hostel was great! They really make an effort to have a family environment. In the evenings they have all the people staying at the hostel down to the patio for Bosnian coffee. Thursday we did some team debrief work, then had lunch and headed out to swim in the river! The river was beautiful but very cold and very strong. It was so hot though that the cold water felt amazing. You just jump in, swim around for 10 seconds, then jump out and warm up in the sun. Walking back from swimming I had an interesting interaction. A street child that was out begging came up to our group after her mother spotted us and sent her in our direction. When she came up I said no, but apparently she didn't like that answer so she smacked me... On the butt... I only had a swim suit on, so it was literally on the butt. Yeah, so that was a moment that I was thankful for self control. My initial reaction was to pop her for smacking me, but knew that wouldn't be the greatest idea, plus we were out in the main street. I also realized that she doesn't really know too much better. I mean, she should... But being raised in the streets forces them to be more aggressive and rough, especially since the parents are often rough and abusive.  . Anyways, Mostar was beautiful, and it was also a much needed bit of down time.

Now onto Croatia! What can I say? I'm in heaven. Haha I've been dreaming of going to Croatia every since I started watching ER? There was a really good looking guy that was Croatian and his language sounded cool. Lame, but hey it is what it is. Moving on... Croatia is beyond beautiful. It's warm and sunny, and there are palm trees! Didn't realize how much I had missed them until they were there in front of me. Also, the sea is incredible! The water is sooo clear and blue and AH. So nice. We got to explore Split Friday afternoon, which was awesome. It seems very Italian in many places. We got to explore Diocletian's Palace, which is now full of shops, apartments and awesome places to eat. At 8pm we got on a boat to take us to Trogir, and it was the most beautiful ride ever. There are mountainous island everywhere. The sun was just starting to go down, so we enjoyed a beautiful sunset. An hour later we docked in Trogir and made our way to our apartment. The apartment is great. It has enough beds for everyone and two full bathrooms which is such a blessing. A new experience here has been no A/C in the house, so it's hot. There is a mini A/C in the kitchen, but it doesn't quite reach all of the apartment. Also, there is no hot water. But the combination of these two things work well together! You're hot, so you go take a cold shower, and it's all good. Haha :) 

This week we will be working an English camp! I think it's going to be a lot of fun! We are doing in like 2 minutes from the sea so there is a lovely breeze, and we by a swim break! Woo! I think is will be a great end to our outreach! In closing, Friday we fly back to the Czech Republic. I'm so excited to see the rest of our team! I'm sad that our time of traveling is over though. I have learned to love the roads between locations and the excitement of being in a new place. 

P.S.  I'm getting super tan :)

XOXO

Cute Kiddos, Hiking, and Travel Changes

It seems to me that for this outreach God likes to save the best for last. This week was incredible, and I think the next 3 weeks will follow suit. Not that the first month of outreach wasn't good, but it was tough. Things seem to be flowing better now. There have also been some change in plans, so I will update on that as well. 

This week we spent M/W/F at the children's center! We did crafts and games and just loved on the kids the best we could. Not being able to have a conversation with them because of language difference was tough, but it was still good. Wednesday we took them to the park and had ice cream. I must say we played a game with them that was basically an extreme squat workout, plus we had to play duck duck goose in a squatted position because the ground was a little wet. So I got quite a workout and am still feeling it. Haha. Anyways, seeing pictures of these adorable little ones will have to wait til I get home because of protection reasons we can't post pictures of the kids on Facebook. But just trust me when I say they are super cute.  :) I will be sad to say goodbye next Monday, but am thankful for the time I got to spend with them.

Yesterday we went on what I would call an extreme hiking adventure. The others that are used to mountains and elevation and just exercise in general thought it was normal hiking, but yeah... I come from the flatlands, so it was not an easy task, plus i was wearing my Toms. I now realize that was a bad decision. We were thousands of feet above sea level, and there was still snow on the mountains along our path. We hiked somewhere near 10 kilometers up and down and over and around hills and mountains. I must say after my squat workout with the kids just a few days before, I was still a little sore and was definitely feeling the burn. To add to the soreness, I fell three times... y'all know my middle name is grace, right? haha Anyways, the views and the scenery all around us were incredibly beautiful. I wish my camera did it justice, but it doesn't. Eventually hours later we made it to Lukomir, which is a village out in the middle of no where. You walk into it and feel like time has gone backwards and suddenly you are seeing what life was like hundreds of years ago. It was amazing. We took some great pictures, which I will try to post by next weekend. 

Up next on the agenda is a week long retreat in the mountains that we as a team are in charge of the teaching. So Tuesday morning I will be teaching on the Fruit of the Spirit and mainly on what love is and how it should affect our lives. On top of that, Anna and I have been put in charge of the little kids for the week. So I think  it's going to be busy, but fun! 

Now for the change in plans... Originally we were leaving here on Tuesday the 18th to start slowly making our way towards Montenegro, but sadly that has recently been cancelled. We will now stay in Sarajevo until probably Wednesday morning, then make our way south to Mostar, BiH! Then Friday we will make our way to Split, Croatia! I have dreamed of seeing Croatia and couldn't be more excited! We will be there for a full week, and starting Monday we will be helping a new YWAM base with working an English camp. Then Friday we will board a plane and fly back to Prague. Woo! God is good. We got the flight for the same cost of being on trains and buses for over 20 hours. We will arrive back in Cheb, CZ that night. Then will be patiently awaiting the arrival of the rest of our family who will be flying home from Turkey! 

These past few months have been the time of my life. I couldn't be happier or more thankful for how this time has been. I have the most amazing extended family that comes from 9 different countries. I will be extremely sad to say goodbye to them all, but I hope and pray that one day we will get to have a reunion. We've been talking about Spain... :) 

A fun little thing that my friends Andreya,  Mark and I have been doing to keep in touch while our South Africa is separated into the other team is to take turn asking questions that we all answer. This week was my turn, and my question was "What are 5 things you will miss most about Europe, and what are 5 things you excited for back home?" So I will share my answers with you all...

What I will miss about Europe: 

1. My YWAM family!!!

2. Trains. Haha I have really enjoyed the trains. Oh and metro surfing :)

3. The ability to travel and experience different places and cultures.

4. The ability to just walk down the street and buy groceries or walk around town.

5. The views of the beautiful cities we have seen... Prague, Budapest, Belgrade, Sarajevo, and of course Macedonia.

What I'm excited for back home:

1. The OCEAN! I miss the sun and the sand so much.

2. Seeing my all of my friends and family that I have so terribly missed! Especially, my friend Sammy who is due to have her first baby a week after I get home, and my two little ones that are growing like weeds! I miss those little munchkins so much! 

3. Foooooooood. Seriously, I haven't had steak in over 4 months. Or bacon. Or fried chicken. Or seafood. Or sushi. Or caesar salad. Or publix subs. And many other delicious things. I'm so tired of bread/pasta/rice ALL.THE.TIME. 

4. I can't wait to drive my car!!! McNubbins... I miss you and hope that I remember how to drive you properly after not driving a vehicle for 6 months  :)

5. Warmth and sunshine! I don't like being cold and cloudy weather. Haha

Until next time... Much love to you all! xo :)

The halfway point...

Sorry that it has been so long since I've updated! Things have been busy here trying to plug in where we can. Outreach is halfway over, which is totally crazy to me. We will be back in Cheb, Czech Republic in 28 days, and I will be back in the beautiful Sunshine State in just 56 days. I'm overwhelmed to say the least, such mixed emotions. The longer I'm here the more I miss home, but at the same time the longer I'm here the more I dread saying goodbye to this group that has become family. I've been living in Europe for over 4 months now and the adjustment of coming home will be very exciting but difficult. I've been in 6 countries and experienced so much in my time here. God is so good and has done so much stretching on me. I feel stronger and more independent, so much more grounded in who I am in Him. I know I can go anywhere and do anything because He goes before me, with me and behind me. 

There have been many challenges a long the way. Many times I have felt like I was at my absolute limit, ready to break, but God never gives us more than we can handle. I've also found that when I am hitting a point where I'm struggling that a special treat will come up and pleasantly surprise me. For instance, about two weeks ago I was telling a few people in my group about how much I love horses and going riding, but don't get to do it very often. Well this last weekend after church I was talking to a couple of American missionaries, and they said something about how their daughter rides here. So they offered that I could go with for a trail ride up in the mountains. AH! Seriously, such a treat! :) Thank you Jesus for wonderful surprises. So today (if it stops raining) on my day off I will be on horseback in the beautiful mountains surrounding Sarajevo!

Another exciting bit of news, we finally got in at the children's center here! We've been trying to figure it out for weeks, and now we are finally going. The center takes children off the streets, showers them, feeds them, and gives them a safe place to play and just be kids. So for the next week we will be trying to spend as much time as we can helping out there. Then our final week here will be spent working a "retreat" where basically all the house churches will come together and spend 5 days together bonding and learning together. As for our job, we are in charge of all the teaching. I'm a little nervous, but at the same time looking forward to it. I think God put in my heart to speak on the Fruits of the Spirit and what the Bible says our relationships with others should look like - "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."

As for where we will be going after this, we will be leaving Sarajevo on the 18th and making our way towards the Montenegrin coast. We will spend a few days there then make our way home up the Croatian coast. We are hoping to meet up with a new YWAM base in Croatia to help with a camp they are running, but not sure yet if that will work out or not. Then we will be back in the Czech Republic for 4 weeks, two of which will be teaching and debrief and the other two will be "touring" talking to churches about where we went and what we did. July 25th is graduation, and Monday July 29th I will be traveling home. Crazy. 

I look forward to seeing you all in just 8 weeks! xo :)

MACEDONIA! :))

The past few days have been incredible to say the least. Since we are stuck in the line to get through the border I will write to you all. There is so much to say, so I will start from the beginning. Warning: it's going to be long. Also, I'm sharing my honest feeling, not because I want you to be concerned, but to show that God is in control and taking care of me.

Tuesday morning Tom (one of the main leaders of the house churches here) came to see us unexpectedly and asked if a few of us could come over to help his wife prepare for a children's program she was running in Macedonia. She had just arrived back from the States on Monday night and was leaving early Wednesday morning to travel again. Toms way of explaining what was going on immediately made me think, "Carley, offer to help with the children. You've been praying for a children's program to work with, go for it." But of course, I wanted to check with my leader first. Funny enough, my leader beat me to it and asked if she would like an extra set of hands. Side note: when we were praying for outreach in the beginnings of March, one of the students was praying and got a verse that read "Come over to Macedonia and help us." As you know, neither teams are going to Macedonia as part of their outreach, but when this came up I realized it was Gods way of telling us to keep our eyes, ears and hearts open for Macedonia. Next thing I know my hand is in the air and a phone call is being made. A few hours later, while helping Kristie pack all her stuff for the conference, I found out I too would be going to Macedonia. 

Then the roller coaster began. The doubts came in. What the heck am I doing? What makes me think I'm qualified? Who do I think I am joining a team of older adult women? Why am I leaving my team to go somewhere alone? I had so much joy and peace when I made the decision, and I realized now that the enemy was creeping into my mind and attacking my weak points. I went to my leaders crying from frustration and confusion. Thankfully, God provided me with some fantastic leaders that were able to help me calm down and sort through my thoughts. Another concern was telling my mom because I know she worries and would be much more concerned than necessary. I've been adjusting to this missionary life, and as Luke reminded me "You're God's little kid! He's not going to let anything happen to you." So I talked to my mom, and I fell back into a wonderful place of peace. Everything was ready. Prayers said, team approval, bag packed, mom notified. Go time.

Less than 24 hours after finding out, I was in a little car headed for Macedonia with two women I had met the day before. I must say they are great, and I liked them from when I first met them. One is a long time YWAM-er and the other the wife of our contact here in Sarajevo. I also got to share a humorous moment with them along the journey as I encountered my first "squatty" aka a bathroom that is just a hole in the ground. Yeah, enjoy a slight gasp, then giggle. I couldn't help but laugh.  Anyways, it was a 7+ hour journey to south Serbia to pick up another woman that was a long time friend of theirs and also used to be a missionary in Sarajevo for the conference. She graciously opened her house up to us for the night. We got there, put our bags down, ate, then went to service. They both are very involved with a large Roma church (for those of you that may not know what that means - gypsy is the less nice word for Roma). I loved it. I couldn't understand a lot of what was happening around me, but I couldn't stop smiling. These people have such energetic prayer and worship. It is fun and contagious. There was over 200 people there, mostly women and children because the men were still working. Two things that I thought about during my time there that I will share... First, I only remembered to bring the shoes that were on my feet which were sandals. I realized that probably was a bad move, and that I would probably end up either with something gross on my feet or an injured foot. Into my mind then came the verse that says "Blessed are the feet of those who bring the good news." So I thought, okay God you're right. I should know that you are protecting me, even my feet. Second was the sights and smells I encountered in that tent. It was so strong at one point that I could almost taste it. Then came another reminder, "Taste and see that the Lord is good." He was right of course. It was the sight of His children coming to praise Him, and the smell of work, poverty, and a culture inside of a culture (Serbian Roma). It was beautiful.

The next morning we got back on the road to finish the last 2-3 hour drive to where we would be staying for the next few days. We arrived early afternoon and then got a mini tour from the pastors son. We went into the closest city which was Stip. We eventually went back to the house, and the rest of the team had arrived. I instantly liked the wonderful women that I would be with for the next few days. They were so kind and welcoming to me. We also met Pastor Jimmy who is incredible and so funny. He is from Nigeria, but has been living in Macedonia for almost 20 years. So we had dinner then a meeting for what we would be doing for the first day. We prayed, had communion, then all went to our rooms to settle in for the night.

Day one was busy but enjoyable. We woke up at 7am, left at 8, arrived where we would be for the day by 9 and started within the hour. The first day we had 9 children, and they were awesome.  We had a guy translator that was great with kids and really helped us a lot. I was assisting, so basically on my feet all day. When the kids and Kristie would be over in the circle teaching, I was at the tables cleaning and setting up for the next activity. We were constantly rotating and keeping the kids moving. The kids had a great first day, and as I left I prayed they would all come back because I didn't even think to say goodbye to any of them.

Day two rolled around quickly and again we were up, out the door, then on the road to start another busy day. This time we had doubled in children! We had 18 little ones (which later turned into 20) to herd down the road towards our room, which by the way was about a 8 minute walk down the road. It was another great day of teaching and playing with the kids. We did lots of crafts and games, but they also heard the gospel message. Then when things were coming to a close we gave the kids their gifts of coloring books, colored pencils and t-shirts. We went back down to the main hall and they went up on stage, sang Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. Two kids shared what they learned, and it was precious to look at the moms all tearing up. It was an incredible two days, and I felt beyond blessed to have been part of it. Those kids left knowing that God loved them, and that they are special because God made them. We said goodbye, took some pictures then got back on the road. We spent about 6 hours with the kids both days, so by the time Saturday night rolled around we were exhausted. 

The drive home that last day was fun because we stopped to take pictures in the flowers. One thing that I absolutely love about Macedonia is the incredibly beautiful wildflowers that are all over the sides of the roads and throughout the valleys. It left me in awe everyday. Pastor Jimmy made a great point about it. He said, "Are these flowers beautiful? Do you like them?" Of course the answer was yes. He then said, "This world is flawed, full of sin. Imagine what the flowers in heaven will look like." I could have cried.

Our last night we had ice cream for dinner. Healthy, I know. It was so funny though to sit in a group of grown women all having ice cream for dinner like a bunch of kids. We did some debriefing and just talked and encouraged each other for about two hours, then eventually made it to our rooms for the night.

Our last day was spent mostly in the car. It took us 13 hours to get home. Alongside the way though I got a huge blessing in the form of seeing the other half of our team at their base in Serbia. It was wonderful and almost didn't feel real. I've missed them so much!

Anyways, we finally made it back and it was so good to be reunited with my team! Macedonia was a wonderful experience, and I was so thankful for it. God stretched me a lot in that time but in great and needed ways.